I've got your parade right here!

So I snuck onto twitter today, and the big trend, as if we have nothing more pressing to worry about, was #HeterosexualPrideDay.  As a heterosexual myself, I obviously don't have any hard feelings toward people who are happy about being straight.  Enjoy it!  Have fun!  The thing is, I don't believe for a second that whatever troll came up with the idea of "Heterosexual Pride Day" (or any of the disturbing number of people who picked it up and ran with it) actually had that in mind.  What could the purpose of it be, honestly?  Most people who are straight don't even think about being straight.  They've never been persecuted for it.  No one ever stopped them from getting married or adopting children or visiting their partners in the hospital.  They never had to fight for these basic rights tooth and nail, only to have a large proportion of the population bitch about the times they happened to win.   When was the last time a straight boy's parents sent him to conversion therapy to try to make him gay or a pastor advised a struggling teen that being straight was a sinful lifestyle choice and she should repent and become a lesbian?   Ever hear anyone say, "I don't care if you date the opposite sex, but you don't have to do it in PUBLIC!"?  Me neither.  I'm an open minded person, and if my fellow straights have any legitimate grievances about which awareness needs be raised, I'm willing to listen.  I just can't begin to imagine what they'd be.  "Not being allowed to abuse minorities with impunity anymore" doesn't count.  

In the absence of a genuine ax to grind with society, then, why would anyone suggest a day for promoting heterosexual pride?  We all know the answer, though far too few are willing to admit it.  When a member of a privileged majority proposes an event like this, it's almost always in direct response to a marginalized group that tries to make itself heard.   There were no MRAs before women's lib and no moans about the lack of an organization for the advancement of whites before there was an NAACP.  In just the same way, no one would think of celebrating heterosexual pride if there were no gay pride festivities.  It's not really about celebrating straightness.  It's about getting back at minorities who we know very well are continuing to fight for a voice in our society.   It's an excuse for people who are afraid of losing power to thumb their noses at groups who are gaining ground and then play dumb.  I see the protests all the time from my fellow cis heterosexual internet denizens:  "But, this is special treatment and you wanted EQUALITY!"  Anyone who stands back and takes an objective look at the situation can see that the desired social equality has not yet been achieved in this case.  Try re-reading the paragraph above if you disagree.  LGBTQ persons continue to have legitimate reason for a special positive celebration of identity and for drawing attention to the important disparities that still exist. #HeterosexualPride is just another way of denying or making light of the problems that Pride Month was intended to address.  In summary, #HeterosexualPrideDay is "not necessarily homophobic" like the Tuna KKK's Whitest Christmas Ever was "not necessarily racist."  

Now, I have to make a confession.  I don't look at homosexual couples the same way I look at straight couples, either.   While I'm not THAT old, where and when I was raised, it was rare to see these people for who they were.  They were forced to hide and live a lie and hope that no one figured them out.   So, when I see them walking down the street holding hands or pushing a stroller, or having a romantic dinner, my spirits are lifted in an unusual way.  I think to myself how wonderful it is that people who once had to deny themselves daily can be free to express their love and live openly, and I smile to myself about the bit of progress that has come about in my lifetime.   (I realize it's all relative, of course. There are still so many places and situations where LGBTQ persons cannot be themselves, and their hard won liberties in our country remain at peril.)  This is well intended, but I recognize that it's still an outmoded pattern of thinking, rooted in a place that time should have forgotten.  I hope that a day will come when, instead of grinning (or grimacing, or gasping) at seeing a same sex couple pass by, we all just move along as though we've seen nothing out of the ordinary.  Because we haven't.  When we get to that place, where there are no special reactions and no raised eyebrows, when all couples are just couples, and all families are just families, when people of all genders and sexual orientations can live fully as who they are without ever having to consider the possibility of being beaten up, deprived of their social support systems or charged with crimes as a result, then maybe we can start debating about who gets more parades. Sound fair? 

In the meantime, if you want to know where straight people's parade is...Macy's puts on a great one at Thanksgiving, and there's the Tournament of Roses, Mardi Gras, St. Patrick's day, May Day, 4th of July, and every state and county fair. I hear that Main Street electrical one at Disney Land is pretty good, too.  Enjoy.